ChillSpot Online: Our Art is Life

Today, it’s all about random! To that end, I’m about to empty the contents (not with a shotgun!) of my head onto this Web site, just to see what pours out. Let us begin…

Random Thought #1
It’s amazing how many people leave the restroom without washing their hands. I used to worry about bumping into people in the restroom, for fear they’d know it was me who detonated a small C4-loaded device of stinkiness in stall No. 1. But I’ve noticed that others are more worried than me that someone else may see their winkies at the stall, or the pee-splatter on their pants, or whatever. So, now (mostly) I just barge out, and no one even looks up. It’s amazingly liberating!

RT#2
Music of the present: Five Deez. If you don’t know, the Five Deez are a hip-hop group out of Cincinnati, who produce what I would describe as smooth, futuristically-based hip-hop. Kool Motor, Kommunicator and Kinkynasti (listed in order of their greatness) feel a bit like what the Tribe Called Quest would sound like after having watched an Outer Limits marathon on the Sci-Fi channel. And with Fat Jon on the beats (who reminds me of the commercial that says “If you like X, you’ll love him, only in place of X, it’s Pete Rock), it’s almost like the group has to fight not to become a hip-hop lullaby. I’m just saying the beats are that smooth.

RT#3
I read somewhere that Damon Wayans has a club foot. What the hell is a club foot you ask? Let’s find out…

Clubfoot (also called talipes equinovarus) is a general term used to describe a range of unusual positions of the foot. Each of the following characteristics may be present, and each may vary from mild to severe:

The foot (especially the heel) is usually smaller than normal.
The foot may point downward.
The front of the foot may be rotated toward the other foot.
The foot may turn in, and in extreme cases, the bottom of the foot can point up (From Webmb.com)

RT#4
Bob Costas is only 5′7″. Barry Bonds recently called him a midget. What would he call Prince? That little musical genius from Minneapolis is only 5′2″. My TV is taller than 5′2″…

RT#5
The Simpsons is still on the air? And doing well enough to make a movie??? Or doing poor enough. I seriously thought the show would have jumped the animated shark years ago. I kept waiting for them to age just a little…

RT#6
Lindsay Lohan got out of rehab long enough to have to go back? I think someone would be wise to open a mobile rehab unit, and just follow certain celebs around … just in case someone has a “relapse” in judgment. Sidebar note, this story from etonline.com says, and I quote “Lindsay was strong-armed into taking a breathalyzer test. They say the cocaine was not Lindsay’s; she was wearing someone else’s pants.” I gotta ask it: WTF was she doing wearing someone else’s pants?!?!

RT#6.1
Sites all over the place are talking about Britney’s latest shocking meltdown. Not to be redundant, but WTF?!?! As much as Britney melts down, she’s not even human anymore. She’s a cheddar wedge away from being a sandwich. (Drumroll please. I know, it’s corny. Had to try it though!).

RT#7
Mmmm …. cheddar! Surprising that, given how gooooodd it is, there is not a cheddar.com out there to sing its praises. Web heads, get crackin on that. We need a cheddar Web site, pronto!

RT#8
Uhhh … Sombrero!

Uhhh … I think I’m done for now. My three faithful readers … you know who you are, right … tell me what you think. If this is deemed wack, nah, I’ll still do it. But my feelings will be hurt!

Reflection/Reaction, Part 1
Just read a piece on cnn.com, where AGAIN the media has found people, mainly black, to support the notion that something some black person does is influenced by hip-hop culture. Why must we heap everything that’s bad into the hip-hop culture pile?
Hip-Hop, as Russell Simmons said is “just reflections of what is happening on our streets. That’s the reality. That’s why we have poets, have always had poets and artists in society, to say things that sometimes people don’t say otherwise.”
Today’s “reality” is that hip-hop artists have used pitbulls and made them into a symbol of violence and status. And since Michael Vick is black, and raised, apparently, in the hip-hop era and environment, hip-hop is somehow a co-conspirator in the degradation of the pitbull, and by unspoken extension, life in this country. Put simply: Hip-hop = bad.
But just because people say it doesn’t make it true, and definitely doesn’t make it the only way of seeing things. Nothing is black and white, no matter how much talking heads would like to make it so. And carting out Jesse Jackson or Colin Powell won’t make anything they say about hip-hop the end-all be-all truth. Consider this simple question: If Mike Vick was WHITE, would this be about hip-hop? If he was raised in the burbs, went to elitist private schools, graduated top of his class, married a decent, homely WHITE woman who was head of the local PTA, would this be about hip-hop?

Reflection/Reaction, Part 2

When does a reflection become a reality?
When does what you see become what you be
When does who you are merge into the perception
cast by light sent back to your eye, (or is it a lie?)
Can you trust what appears, what rings in your ears
And burns your nostrils, shrill and stinky like skunk shit …
Can you believe that, which in fact, is someone else’s idea of black
White, wrong, all day long people pass judgment on what they perceive,
Never knowing how to conceive of somthing other than what’s in their faces?
Get out in the world, see other places, and maybe other realities will show -
Maybe the things you THINK you know will ring hollow, fake and unsupported,
and just because the news reported doesn’t make it law or canon,
Can on the day the truth emerges,
all the lies we choose to repurpose just be forgotten?

It becomes about race when enough people SAY it’s about race … even if it isn’t.

When wrong is right?

Don’t know if you’ve been following, but this kid, who is not so much a kid anymore, Genarlow Wilson, has spent the past four years in prison for receiving oral sex from a 15-year-old girl when he was 17, may be released after getting slapped with a 10-year sentence for the act. But the district attorney in the case is putting up a fight.

Attorney General Thurbert Baker argues that the order to free Wilson, if upheld, could be used to help free some 1,300 child molesters from Georgia prison. “We urge you to look beyond the confines of this case,” Senior Assistant Attorney General Paula Smith told the court’s seven justices Friday.

Now, the court in Georgia has already changed the law that required Wilson to receive a mandatory term that long. But the attorney is afraid that letting this one man go would be a bigger problem. Maybe so, but my problem with it is this: Does that justify keeping THIS man in jail?

I say no. Release this young man. Let him try to salvage his life. Fix the loophole without punishing this man any further. Then, Mr. Baker, you can go back to railroading other poor defendents.

No more 2 for 1?
In other news, heck, just read …

A law scheduled to take effect Sept. 4 places new statewide restrictions on adult businesses:
- Prohibits a sexually oriented business – including bookstores, theaters and strip clubs – from remaining open between midnight and 6 a.m. Clubs with liquor licenses allowing them to stay open until 2 a.m. may remain open, but no sexually oriented entertainment can take place during those hours.
- Requires strippers to remain at least 6 feet from patrons and on a stage at least 2 feet off the floor. Also prohibits strippers from touching any other person who is nude or seminude while in the view of a patron.
- Prohibits patrons from touching any employee of the business who is nude or seminude.

This law, in the way it reads, pretty much kills off the reason for strip clubs to exist. Really, what reason is there to go drop big money on women who you’ll have to throw the cash at to reach? Six feet? I can get closer to beautiful women at the mall … and I won’t have to pay! This is a conservative push gone awry. Somebody get Larry Flynt in here to shake things up, cause this one, even if I never go to a club again, just smells wrong.

Bill Livingston: PD Pawn
I never really liked him, but Cleveland Plain Dealer sports columnist Bill Livingston has either voluntarily, or through a push from his bosses, become a Jim Rome-type antagonizer. His piece about LeBron James dunking a baby doll seemed to come more from an attempt to drum up chatter than to make a point. Bill, how about letting people make their own decisions about what people have done, as opposed to trying to sway opinions? Also, we like LeBron. Until otherwise proven, he’s a good kid. No need to sensationalize something that, in my opinion, wasn’t that big a deal. Now when his first rape conviction comes up, rip away. But until then, just pipe down.

Random Thought
Why is McDonald’s price gouging me as bad as the gas stations are? I mean, I go buy a 20-piece nugget from the McDonald’s down the hill, and the price is $3.30. Just up the hill, the price is $6.10?!?! WTF! 1.5 miles = $2.80 more? That’s horrible math. Are nuggets really that hot a commodity up the hill? Do the owners of the up-the-hill store not know that they’re overpriced? And don’t get me started on orange juice! You’d think the stores would know better than to do this, but do they care? The good side about this is that I don’t need a nugget like I need gas.

Sick Vick?
Well, well, well. Mr. Vick, it appears you have gotten yourself into a bit of trouble. The Feds are on the case, and have obtained, well, it appears to be, plenty evidence against you in this here little dogfighting case they’re building.

The 18-page indictment, filed in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia, alleged the 27-year-old Vick and his co-defendants began the dogfighting operation in early 2001. If convicted of all the charges, Vick and the others – Purnell A. Peace, 35, of Virginia Beach; Quanis L. Phillips, 28, of Atlanta; and Tony Taylor, 34, of Hampton – could face up to six years in prison, $350,000 in fines and restitution.

As I said, Mr. “Ron Mexico” aka “Ookie” Vick, you are in deep doo-doo without a pooper scooper.
Of course, an indictment, even the federal kind, is not a conviction. And no matter how many times John Buccigross or Stew Scott or any of the heads on ESPN say it, you haven’t been sentenced to one day in prison - yet.
Of course, none of this matters to us, the people. We, who just love dogs, and hate people who abuse them (or maybe we just hate you), are trying you all over the place. We’re trying you in line at the grocery store, we’re trying you at work, and we’re definitely trying you in the media, on and off the pages and screens, where the discussions may well affect how you’ll be perceived in the public eye. Oh boy, you’re in for it now.
People are screaming for your now un-cornrowed head, because you made pitbulls do violent things to each other for money, and allegedly killed them (or ordered them killed, which, to the feds may well be the same thing) for underperforming the tasks you assigned.
It seems you’re giving pitbulls a bad name, except for the fact that pitbulls already had a bad name. Nevermind that, however. You, Mr. Vick, are about to have a year so long, only O.J. and Kobe can relate to how bad it’s about to be for you. But with all the sound and fury around you, it’s likely to amount, as Shakespeare could surely attest, to nothing.
You may never see the inside of a prison cell, with the lawyers you’ll surely have on the case. The people likely to turn against you in court will have their own characters skewered so badly by the defense that they’ll be praying merely for “well-done” after it’s over.
And you, after dodging the barrage of assaults to your rep as you have so easily to so many like attempts to your body on the field, will spin out of this, and sprint away, at least until the next play is called. Or you could go to prison. But not yet. There’s still a trial to be had, and we, the people, should let you have it - without toting our biased beliefs into it.

Been thinkin about birthdays lately.
No reason . . . but just been thinking.
If today was my birthday, I’d wonder who else was born on this day?
Our 38th president of the United States, Gerald Ford, was born today.
Tommy Motolla, former president of Sony, and former husband to Mariah Carey, was also born on this day.
Harry Dean Stanton, an actor who was “Brain” in one of my favorite movies, Escape From New York, was alwso born today.
Other than that, can’t think of anything good that happened on this day.
How sad for someone to have been born on such a boring day, huh?
Ah well, no need to harp on it and bring all those unfortunate folks spirits down.
After all, somebody has to be born today, right?
Anyway, I dug around for all you poor folks born today and found some funny, possibly uplifting quotes for you.
And, if no one else says so: Happy Birthday!

Everything I know I learned after I was thirty.
- Georges Clemenceau

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
- Robert Frost

After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
- Bette Midler

Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
- Cora Harvey Armstrong

No wise man ever wished to be younger.
- Jonathan Swift

Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
- Tom Stoppard

You’re getting old when the only thing you want for your birthday is not to be reminded of it.
- Felix Severn

Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

Doing whatever to avoid a ticket?

LEBANON, Tenn. — A porn actress who claimed she performed oral sex on a state trooper who stopped her for speeding lost her chance to avoid the ticket he issued because she failed to appear in court Friday. Justis Richert, 21, of Knoxville, must pay the $159 ticket within two weeks, but she could have avoided it altogether because the trooper has resigned and wasn’t in court, officials said.
Traffic charges were dropped against the 16 motorists who did appear in court for tickets issued by Tennessee Highway Patrol trooper James Randy Moss.
“Had she been here, the ticket would have been dismissed,” said Linda Neal, general sessions court clerk.
Under her porn film name “Barbie Cummings,” Richert wrote on her blog that Moss took photos and video of their encounter in May and sent copies to her. She said she acknowledged having drugs she described as “happy pills,” but claimed the trooper threw them into brush near the highway.

I nearly forgot about this story from last month, but it still makes me smile ….

My Lebrogative?
LeBron James did a parody of Bobby Brown’s My Prerogative (as if anything Bobby’s done since his New Edition days has NOT been a parody), including the silly Gumby-style fade and dance moves. I haven’t seen it yet, but I hope it’s as funny as it looks in photos.

Putting the “ass” in dumbass

A 32-year-old man was struck and killed by a train early Tuesday while joking around near the tracks, police said.
The victim, identified by the Montgomery County Coroner’s Office as Larry A. Schaffer Jr., was standing on the edge and sticking his backside toward the tracks.
Two friends who witnessed the incident tried to stop him, said Sgt. Kim Griffin.
“They tried to tell him to get off the tracks and quit joking around,” she said.

Don’t really got much to say here, except that some people probably shouldn’t have survived childbirth.

Random Thought
I have so many cases of soda at the house that I think I may just start pouring the crap down the drain just to save the world of the scourge of it (and so I can recycle the cans … I mean, hell, dough is dough!).

Movie Counter
I was sposed to see a whole bunch a movies this summer. So far, I’m running WAY short…

Movies to this point I was sposed to see:
Spiderman 3
Pirates 3
Shrek 3
Oceans 13
Live Free or Die Hard (I make no excuse for liking Bruce Willis!)
Transformers
Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer

Movies I have seen:
Spiderman 3

So, unless the dollar show is bout to hook a brother up; I’m short until November I guess … at least until I sell some cans…

My Cleveland Cavaliers defeated the Spurs Saturday, holding the team to a meager 53 points. Shannon Brown - an afterthought through the series - scored 18 points, while Daniel ‘Boobie’ Gibson scored only 2. Tim Duncan, Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili were ALL HELD SCORELESS.
Of course, that’s probably because Tim Duncan is golfing, Manu is getting hair replacement therapy and Tony Parker is getting busy getting busy with Eva on his honeymoon in Paris. That’s right, the NBA Summer League is the source of my joy. The place where even the champs fall! Yeah.
But seriously, I’m still hungry for basketball. The season just ended for the Cavs, but already I’m looking for hope for the next season. The team picked up Terrence Dials, former Buckeye, Romeo Travis, former wing-man to LeBron in high school, and (I’m not sure how to feel about this one) Kevin Pittsnogle, the heavily-tatted former cinderella story from West Virginia.
Usually, I’m not this way for any sport other than football, where, as soon as it ends, I need to know who’s out, who’s in and who need to be buried. But the Cavaliers played so well (until the end) I can’t wait to see how things go. I begged for a draft move, and when none was made I was pissed (as read on this blog). So, when they did something, ANYTHING, even picking up Travis, who played well for a good Akron squad, which nearly made the tournament last season, I started up with the dreams.
Now, Dials, Pigsknuckle and Romeo may not even make the squad, but at least their presence allows me to imagine a better Cavs team than the one that brought the city such good feelings in ‘07.

Wake up to smell of gasoline,
Pungent, like how your panties be,
After spending too much time thinking of me,
But see, this ain’t from no comedy,
Cept for the comedy of errors I made,
Letting you have a key to my place,
Just in case I thought of running
You locked the door from the outside;
Really tryin to scare me this time huh?
But I know you just playin,
Pissed cause I won’t give you the real keys,
Smoke fillin the room, fumes getting thick;
Too late to think quick
when last night I was thinkin dick
Hard in some other chick,
moanin, groanin, made you sick
To walk in on us like that,
Watch your man goin deep in that back
That ain’t yours; tired of being second-class
Decided you was gon fix my ass;
Decided I wasn’t worth a pass –
You’ll forgive me later.

I was trying to channel Andre Rison, how he must have felt when he saw his mansion in flames, knowing his lady did it because of something he’d done. So, in a way, this is dedicated to the late Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopes, without whom we’d never have this moment to remember …