Never were
19 04 2009Before you took a breath,
before you ever told me you loved me
you were gone.
I know not where you went,
but I know where you aren’t.
You aren’t inside me,
you were in my past the moment you began.
I’d like to imagine you’re in a special place
Reserved for angels and the innocent,
Playing in the rain, climbing the tall slide
At the biggest playground in the world,
Laughing, screaming and running around
Free.
If I could have wished that for you it would be so.
I don’t know. I was happy today,
In a way, it’s all thanks to you,
Because there is no you,
The Me in all this grew,
Continued to enjoy the fruits of my new life,
Your new life never was,
Because it was between the two,
And you had no voice
No vote
No choice
Rejoice, because you’re in a better place;
Your face, bathed in the light of the sun,
It’s done, because I didn’t want it
And he didn’t care,
So there was no chance;
In my mind’s eye you dance with
My grandfather, old and new –
You two, in the same joyous abode,
Behold, how bad begat something good
Then became bad, which led to something good again.
I know in my heart that doesn’t make sense,
But since you’re not here to argue your side,
Inside me is how I choose to see
What we did and where you’ll be –
Eternity is a long time
But in time we’ll meet again,
And you can tell me how you hate me
Debate me on what I did
But for now, I am …
And you never were.
