Evolutions: Lost and found … and lost
20 05 2009I was THIS CLOSE to my dream.
This close to my hope.
But I wasn’t really close at all.
There was an invisible chasm between me and them,
and I didn’t notice it till I was plummeting off the edge,
my face flapping in the wind, my eyes watery and red,
and the only thing left was the inevitable collision.
The only thing I’d expected to collide with was bliss,
A single kiss after the pastor pronounces us man and wife,
No strife, no stress, just me and he,
Arm in arm, the world in awe …
All that is in the hopper now,
How can I walk away from my dreams
And be forced to face my nightmares?
It’s there too, still taunting me,
Years after grinding me into a paste for his bread.
He’s still tormenting me, and I can’t shed him.
Why? Why does he matter? Why does he affect me so?
I don’t know, or maybe I don’t care to.
But I know I might have just watched my husband
Walk out of my life, and at the very least,
our bond may never be the same
Even if he does come back. I’m still getting used to the idea
Of him being gone …
And here this fool is, STILL pulling me under water,
Still muffling my screams for freedom,
Or is that my OWN hand over my mouth?
