ChillSpot Online: Our Art is Life

A special you

Steven S. Sharp — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 17:46:04 +0000

I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I’m thinking about you.

You brighten my day in such a way that others are blinded by my smile.

Everything that you say and everything you do challenges me to be a better man myself. I hadn’t noticed this til I looked at who I was and saw that I only vaguely resembled that child I left behind.

No, I didn’t change myself for you, but more so I just evolved, by being in your presence, into something new. A brand new me, born from love, attention, intellectual stimulation and affection.

I never noticed how different I was, until I looked into my own eyes and saw yours looking back at me, reassuring me that everything would be just fine.

Statute of Limitations

Steven S. Sharp — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 09:49:40 +0000

I have noticed you inside my mind for years, but never outside my subconscious, where it might manifest, but held tight, like a precious jewel or a secret. Even with an imagination as varied and vivid as mine, I could not even fathom a life with you, someone more my equal than anyone. Someone who I would look up to, admire and cherish, fight for and perish, do whatever it takes just to share a walk through life together. Yesterday was just the first step, maybe, if I’m lucky, there’ll be another. I can always dream right? Right?

What if?

Steven S. Sharp — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 03:06:30 +0000

I wonder sometimes if the things I do are helping people
If the things I do have meaning
If you do good for someone and no one is there to find out
Do they really appreciate it?
All I want is to be appreciated
To have my love reciprocated
And to never be understated
(I know that line seemed unrelated
But it‘s how I feel, so please don‘t hate it)
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder…

I wonder sometimes if the world realizes how fragile it is;
Do we see how the things we do
Affect more than me and you
But also the future at large,
For our offspring to be in charge
Of a struggling and sinking barge –
Sometimes I just sit and wonder…

I wonder sometimes if I can change the world,
Or even a special few –
Who need simply a fresh point of view
Or maybe a bit of advice, once or thrice,
Or merely by something I do?
The Earth is full of fickle places,
With people who hate for no basis,
And will kill without hearing your cases,
So why should I wonder so deeply?
Cause in heaven all my good deeds will meet me.
So tomorrow I’ll again sit and wonder –
Then do something wonderful.
For you.

hey there

Steven S. Sharp — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 19:39:56 +0000

I was missing you, the way you smell in the morning after a shower, all cherry blossums and stuff. When you’re not watching I just stare at you, the little things you do with your nose when you see something gross, how you wrinkle your lip when you hear a corny joke. I remember the first time we locked eyes in that different way, it just blows my mind to know we could have come so far from that place to here, to now. To us. I love you.

Hi!

Steven S. Sharp — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 18:43:41 +0000

This is S3, coming back atcha! I been on the lam for awhile, but I’m coming back. I’ll be updating from roadside rest stops for a bit, but like Mr. Universe says “You can’t stop the signal.” So, get back at me ….

Deflated

Steven S. Sharp — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 07:48:53 +0000

The older I get, the harder it is to withstand the emotional tides that come with life. Used to do it smooth, easy. But now, even the small waves cause me to teeter. Ups are higher - because I know how valuable and rare they are. And lows? Well… Yeah. They can get subterranean. All manner of feeling is more powerful. Every chance is more precious, every moment so much more special and full of hope because it’s so much more apparent how few of them you’ll have. So comes the disappointment of a letdown. Thinking something has the potential to be great; when it never had to opportunity to be anything at all. Deflated? Yeah. Like a hot air balloon.

Changin’ You

Steven S. Sharp — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 08:34:58 +0000

Sistah, I know you doin’ your thing
Feelin’ your own vibe, but
I just have one request that’ll help you
Put your best foot forward
Toward a better stand in the world boo
Could you … just put on a little make-up?
That would help take up some of that bad skin you got
Flowing right around your cheeks and your forehead
I mean, you asked me to be straight up
So before we hook this date up
Could you run a brush through your hair and over your teeth
Cause it kinda give me grief
That I always gotta be pullin’ you to the side
Before we step outta my ride and puttin’ you in front of a mirror,
Cause your reflection makes it clearer
That you got issues to address
And those issues cause distress to the brotha in your way,
And while we on it might I say
Your attitude could use a shift
When we first met you was the gift
But nowadays your shit is broke
And even worse you like to toke
And open eyes nobody see
Avoidin’ jobs because of pee
Just ain’t the way you need to be
And all this mess comes back on me
And I don’t even smoke the Ghetto D!!!

As the pit in my stomach fills with the caustic acid of anxiety,
I’m asking me if the old time parable, no longer bearable,
Has any validity truthfully:

You can take a horse to water but you cain’t make him drink.
Stop and think
You can take a horse to water but you cain’t make her drink.
Third time, don’t blink!
You can take a horse to water but you cain’t make him drink.
I say that to relay the fact
That anyway your mate may act
Is not for you to alter
But instead your course should falter,
Realize that people are the way they are
And ain’t no cynicism, mysticism or straight up criticism
Gon change the realism
That you can show a person’s flaws
And think that doing so will cause
That one to change their state of mind
Because it won’t.
So instead of changing you
I’m changing me.
Thankfully.

Jered & Julia: His Biz

Steven S. Sharp — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 02:06:20 +0000

Jered
Don’t know if I mentioned it, but I own an architectural firm – JRB & Associates, LLC. It’s basically me and my partner Braylon. Rob used to work with us, but thought he was better off on his own, and sold his share in the company to us. We liked the sound of JRB, so we left him in, plus he’s still friends with us! In any case, things have been a little tight lately, with the down turn in the economy and whatnot. It was always hard for a small minority-owned company to get the prime contracts, but now? Shit, our biggest deal this quarter was designing and building a coffee shop for a hopeful entrepreneur. But we push on, beating the streets for whatever leads we can get.
I get up at 5:30 every morning to get a jump on the day, with a bagel, some orange juice, some stretching, a prayer and to reorder my schedule. One of the disadvantages of working with a staff of five is that you have to know what everyone is doing and make sure each of them is doing it, no first officer there to whip crack in your absence. So, between that, and making sure I have my affairs in order, I spend 20 to 30 minutes each day double checking what I have to do, what I want to do and what I wish I could do, then moving on to Braylon (who can be a bit of a burden, because the damn fool knows I do this, so he slacks off) and right down to Chelsea, the receptionist/administrative assistant, who is quick to jump off into Facebook or Youtube, or whatever internet based distraction is de jour.
Trying to leave a strong footprint in the black and Hispanic communities leads us to a dilemma I wish I didn’t have to deal with: lazy ass contractors. Yeah, the worse part of working with other minority-owned businesses is that many of them - stereotypically so – in fact, are basically waiting on a handout. A damn handout! Even from other brothers and sisters who they KNOW ain’t got shit either. If it’s not that, then it’s simply keeping them in line, and on task, without overpaying or overpromising anything. I had to light into Braylon early on because he prepaid the contractors to the tune of $65,000, for a project, and, of course, they all got drunk and paid for hookers or whatever the hell they did, and no one could be found for four days. Once I finally did track them down (and I had to literally go down in the hood for these negroes) they denied ever receiving money, then said Braylon told them to take a week off. We lost that time on the project, had to hire another company to cover, and it took nearly a year to recoop the money, because Braylon took the money directly from our funds, instead of writing a check, like our policy states, or clearing it with Chelsea, whose main job is to make sure we don’t go broke. We survived that, and all the other craziness that comes with basically being hustlers in a field where the old boys still smoke cigars in the country clubs and collude to keep all the best deals. And we’re not doing so bad these days, knock on wood. At least the lights stay on.

The Relife Project: Conclusions

Steven S. Sharp — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 17:30:33 +0000

Sorry this took so long … the ear infection is a cruel thing.

Life is an interesting ride. Full of pitfalls and valleys, but also full of peaks and sunrises. The last three months have been quite a journey, one which I would not trade for anything else. There has been plenty of time for introspection, as if I needed any more? But there it was, to be had in boatloads, just overwhelming at times. When things get quiet, you’re forced to look inward for sound, for a voice, for whatever sustenance you require mentally. That’s not typically how people work. Usually people, the social creatures that we are, feed off one another for energy. To feed off yourself is cannibalism, not a socially-acceptable concept in America. But it can be fulfilling, if difficult. I’ve learned a lot about myself, and my potential path. The question is as it always is: how to do it? I’ll keep you posted on my progress…

The Relife Project: 9/21-23/09

Steven S. Sharp — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:16:42 +0000

Ugh. Double ear infection … WTF? More specifically - swimmer’s ear - an affliction which has affected me before, caused by getting water in the ear and not draining. Painful, and stupid. Anyway, got a job interview today at some random place, so we’ll see if it’s worth it. Literally. Ikea watch: I still have to put that damn cabinet together. I know …